Introduction Paragraphs

1. Exercise: Thesis Analysis

   1. It is too long and broken up over two sentences. It can be simplified as: There are dangerous, sometimes uncontrolable effects of online dating such as mental harm, risk of shallow relationships, and fake profiles.
   2. This thesis announces the topic. It can be improved as in the following example: Three of the major sources of food waste are supermarkets, restaurants, and households.
   3. This one looks ok. 
   4. This thesis includes too much specific information showing the opposite of the cause/effect focus.

Body Paragraphs

1. Exercise: Body Paragraph Analysis

   1. The topic sentence is effective. The supporting sentences about entry fees for historic monuments are not focused on the topic sentence. These sentences would need to be reworded or removed to keep this paragraph cohesive. The concluding sentence has too many ideas. It would be better to simplify or separate this so that the conclusion is strongly tied to the topic sentence.

Conclusion Paragraphs

1. Exercise: Concluding Paragraph Analysis

   1. The paragraph restates the thesis. Although infant is not a great synonym for children/kid. The paragraph appropriately becomes more general. The closing statement is very long and includes too many ideas. The call to action statement is good, but it gets a little lost in the structure of the sentence. 

A Shifting Structure

1. Exercise: Analyze Example Essay

   1. Students will have a variety of responses to the structure of the example essay. There are 7 paragraphs. There are five main effects described in this essay. Essentially, it is just more of the same type of essay they've seen before. It may be good to note as you look over it that a longer essay may include additional organizational components such as an extended background paragraph following the introduction or presenting and refuting the opposing viewpoint. An essay may also be shorter depending on the expectations of the essay. You can have students brainstorm contexts that would prompt essays that are longer or shorter than the standard 5 paragraph essay they were introduced to previously.

Example Essay

1. Exercise: Supporting Ideas

   1. You may need to remind students that scanning is a reading strategy of searching quickly for specific information.
   2. Expert observations on mental health impact; description of impacts; introducing a more abstract level of impact (jobs are more personal, economy is more abstract); providing examples; emphasis of overlooked impacts; trusted source as support; introducing long-term impacts. Students may articulate these ideas differently or identify additional purposes.
   3. The essay has a fairly good balance of supporting sources for the body paragraphs. However, students may still identify a point that could be stengthened. They may also indicate that the introduction and conclusion could benefit from an outside source.