CoverObjectivesThe Writing ProcessPrewritingWritingRevisingOriginalityIntroduction to Academic EssaysStyleShapeOrganizationIntroduction ParagraphsBody ParagraphsConclusion ParagraphsExample EssayUsing SourcesFinding SourcesCitationsQuotingSummarizingParaphrasingDescriptive EssaysExample EssayPrewritingWritingRevisingRevise: Descriptive EssayComparison EssaysExample EssayPrewritingWritingRevisingRevise: Comparison EssayCause-Effect EssaysExample EssayPrewritingWritingRevisingRevise: Cause-Effect EssayRefining WritingDevelopmentUnityCohesionWriting for the TOEFLIntegrated Writing TaskIndependent Writing TaskNuts and BoltsPunctuationUsing Academic VocabularyAnswer KeyThe Writing Process AKIntroduction to Academic Essays AKUsing Sources AKDescriptive Essays AKComparison Essays AKCause-Effect Essays AKRefining Writing AKWriting for the TOEFL AKNuts and Bolts AK

Descriptive Essays AK

Example Essay

  1. Exercise: Analyze an essay

    1. Yes
    2. Yes (Gail Halvorsen was a selfless man that shared hope and inspired kindness during World War II.)
    3. Yes (First, Gail Halvorsen shared hope with people who desperately needed it. Gail Halvorsen was a selfless person that inspired kindness. His copilot and engineer gave him their candy to give away and other pilots decided to help as well.)
    4. Yes
    5. Yes
    6. Yes
    7. Yes
    8. Yes
    9. Yes (His selflessness was inspirational and the hope that he shared was encouraging.)
    10. Suggestion

Prewriting

  1. Exercise: Revise thesis statements (Answers will vary, examples provided)

    1. Through his example of how to live and become more peaceful and caring, Ghandi became a spiritual leader.
    2. Winston Churchill is a well-known figure because of his leadership, his role in World War II, and his legacy.
    3. The contributions of Madame Curie to science have cemented her as a significant figure in history.
    4. Frida Khalo's influence went beyond her art as it changed the way women were depicted and percieved in Mexico.
    5. The life of Simon Bolivar demonstrates how one person can have a powerful impact on society.
    6. Vygostky's works in psychology and education continue to have an impact on our understanding of developmental psychology today.
  2. Exercise: Make an outline

    1. Gail Halvorsen was a selfless man that shared hope and inspired kindness during World War II. (thesis)
      1. when: after World War II 
      2. who: pilot
      3. what: gave candy
      4. why: kindness and hope
    2. First, Gail Halvorsen shared hope with people who desperately needed it. (topic sentence 1)
      1. kids afraid
      2. quote "without hope, the soul dies"
      3. quote "Chocolate bars coming from the sky. It all sounds rather dramatic today, but for me it was a special sign. A sign that we Berlin- ers had to survive" 
    3.  Gail Halvorsen was a selfless person that inspired kindness. (topic sentence 2)
      1. wanted to help
      2. didn't have much
      3. asked others to help too
    4. His copilot and engineer gave him their candy to give away and other pilots decided to help as well. (topic sentence 3)
      1. made official by commander
      2. donations from others
      3. inspired many
    5. His selflessness was inspirational and the hope that he shared was encouraging. (restated thesis)
  3. Exercise: Revise the outline (Answers will vary, example provided)

    1. Jose de San Martin's life is an excellent example of using power and leadership skills for good. (thesis)
  4. Exercise: Revise developing questions

    1. Questions not directly related to the topic sentence: Who was Peyton Manning? What teams did Peyton Manning play on? What successes did Peyton Manning have in his career?

Revising

  1. Exercise: Revise a body paragraph

    1. Answers will vary, no example provided
  2. Exercise: Check your essay

    1. Answers will vary, no example provided

Revise: Example Essay

  1. Exercise: Give feedback

    1. Answers will vary, no example provided