CoverObjectivesThe Writing ProcessPrewritingWritingRevisingOriginalityIntroduction to Academic EssaysStyleShapeOrganizationIntroduction ParagraphsBody ParagraphsConclusion ParagraphsExample EssayUsing SourcesFinding SourcesCitationsQuotingSummarizingParaphrasingDescriptive EssaysExample EssayPrewritingWritingRevisingRevise: Descriptive EssayComparison EssaysExample EssayPrewritingWritingRevisingRevise: Comparison EssayCause-Effect EssaysExample EssayPrewritingWritingRevisingRevise: Cause-Effect EssayRefining WritingDevelopmentUnityCohesionWriting for the TOEFLIntegrated Writing TaskIndependent Writing TaskNuts and BoltsPunctuationUsing Academic VocabularyAnswer KeyThe Writing Process AKIntroduction to Academic Essays AKUsing Sources AKDescriptive Essays AKComparison Essays AKCause-Effect Essays AKRefining Writing AKWriting for the TOEFL AKNuts and Bolts AK

Revising

1 Exercise: Revise a body paragraph

Read the following student paragraph and make suggestions for ways to revise it.

       Introverts and extroverts have challenges to overcome. Introverts seem to be quiet but their minds are loud as well as active. "The tendency to keep thoughts inside is unique to introverted individuals as they process their challenges and consider possible solutions without seeking outside help or opinions" (Makin, 2018, para. 2). On the contrary, extroverts are outside thinkers; they handle problems by verbally communicating with others as they talk about solutions. Introverts hate change, as they cannot easily adapt themselves to new situations. However, extroverts accept the change easily. Introverts and extroverts are able to solve their problems in different ways. "When faced with challenges, extroverts tend to seek social connections and network their way to a solution" (Makin, 2018, para. 3). The function that speaking plays is very different while introverts and extroverts solve their problems.

2 Exercise: Check your essay

Use these questions to give the author advice about how to improve it. Think about the function of each type of paragraph as well as how sources are used to support the main idea of the essay.

  1. Does the introduction provide the general information a reader needs in order to understand the topic?
  2. Does the introduction end with an effective thesis? Does it match the style of the essay?
  3. Do each of the body paragraphs begin with an effective topic sentence?
  4. Are the body paragraphs sequenced in a logical order?
  5. Look at each body Do the supporting sentences support the topic sentence?
  6. Look at each body Are the supporting sentences sequenced in a logical order?
  7. Look at each body Is there enough development? Are there more details or examples that would help the reader?
  8. Look at each body Does the concluding sentence close the paragraph logically?
  9. Does the conclusion paragraph start by restating the thesis?
  10. Does the conclusion paragraph have a suggestion, prediction, or opinion at the end?