When you are first learning a new language, you practice using it in realistic situations. However, those situations are usually simple. When you practice with your classmate and teacher, the conversations are clear and easy. As you begin using English more frequently in real-life situations, you are likely to find that communication becomes more complicated.

It is important to note here that when we are talking about a communication complication, we are not talking about language misunderstandings. You have likely had experiences since the beginning of your language learning experience when someone did not understand what you were trying to say or you did not understand the person to whom you were talking. Comprehension issues are a different concern, but sometimes they can lead to an unexpected complication.

An unexpected complication means that a surprise problem occurs that is not easily solved. In these situations, the speaker needs to work a little harder to fix the problem. Sometimes these problems come from a change in the situation,  a misunderstanding (comprehension issue), or a mistake.

What language do I use to respond to a complication?

Use Polite Language

In some situations, it is easy to remember to be polite with the other person. For example, if you forgot to turn in an important essay, you would probably want to talk with your professor about options to turn it in late. You would remember to use polite language in this situation because the power difference between student and professor is usually very clear to both people. Additionally, it is clear that it was your mistake and that you are asking for a favor in this situation. 

However, there are many unexpected complications that could be very frustrating to the speaker and make it harder to stay polite.

For example:

Imagine you are flying to visit your family for the holidays. You are waiting to board the plane, but they say the flight is delayed. You realize that if you do not leave soon, you will miss your connecting flight.

It is common in a situation like this to express anger, but it is more productive if you can be calm and use polite language. Another issue is that if you use direct language to resolve the problem, it can be interpreted as anger. 

To soften our language, we use hedging words and phrases. Also, remember that your tone of voice is just as important as the language you choose to use.

Here are some examples of softening language:

MODALS

Could I change my appointment? vs Change my appointment.

Would you please look to see if there is anything you can do? vs You need to fix this!

I didn't understand. Would you mind repeating that? vs What?

ADVERBS

Is the train likely to leave soon? vs When will the train leave?

Can I possibly change my assignment? vs Change my assignment.

QUESTION PHRASING

Do you think...

Would it be possible...

Could you please...

Use IF clauses

When we are trying to find a solution to a complication, it is common to use "if" clauses. We talked about clauses that begin with if  when we discussed noun clauses and conditionals. They have the conditional meaning here because we do not know how the situation will be resolved, and we are presenting options. 

Let's look at an example. Imagine you are caring for friend's child for a weekend while they are out of town. While you are watching the child, he unexpectedly becomes sick. You can use if clauses to suggest a solution.

What if I offer to take him to the doctor?

If I give him this medicine, do you think it will help?

Would it be helpful if I let him sleep all day?