Example Persuasive Writing

 

Music Education 

          On January 22, 2017, many news writers reported about the future of music and art education. President Donald Trump, the President of the United States of America and his administrative team seemed intent on “[eliminating] the National Endowment for the Arts and National Endowment for the Humanities programs” (Rubinstein, 2017, para. 1). This is a very controversial topic that a lot of people are discussing. Some people agree with him and some people do not. Many recognize that music is important, but question if it is important enough for students to learn in school, or if schools should require students to continue to receive music education. Some people might have asked if another subject would be more important such as, math or science. Some people might also think that music education should be optional for students, and that students should not be required to have music education in school. However, there is very convincing evidence pointing to the fact that all students should be required to learn music in school, and that every school should have a music program because of the benefits that students receive from a music education. 

          First, Music education helps children cognitively. According to Norman M. Weinberger, a member of the Center for the Neurobiology of Learning and a professor of the Department of Psychobiology at the University of California, “Learning and performing music actually exercise the brain” (2003, p. 38). He also claimed that music education can also play a major part in strengthening the synapses between our brain cells. Recently, research in neuroscience strongly supports that synapses grow stronger through use and become weakened through disuse (Weinberger, 2003). Music is a beneficial way to use and build those synapses. Many major functional systems of the human brain depend on our synaptic strength including the “cognitive system which is symbolic, linguistic, and reading, the sensory and perceptual system including auditory, visual, tactile, and kinesthetic, planning movement, feedback and evaluation of actions, and learning memory” (Weinberger, 2003, p. 38). These are a few examples of how music strengthens synapses. Moreover, the benefits of music also affect many parts of the brain and the brain as a whole. 

          Music benefits the brain in other ways as well. It has been found that music directly helps to improve the brain. Music improves and develops “imagination, focus and concentration, children’s IQ, productivity, language learning, whole-brain thinking, mathematical learning, writing skills, memory, and overall learning” (Ungrangsee, 2011, p.14). According to both Weinberger and Ungrangsee, we can understand the importance of music for the brain. According to these examples of the benefits, we can know that without music in school, children will struggle more with math and also science. With music education in the schools, we can have more confidence that children will be able to not only succeed, but excel because of the benefits of music education. 

          Second, music education helps children physically. It does not just improve our health but also can heal us in a lot of ways. One of these is that music can reduce blood pressure (Ungrangsri, 2011). Another benefit is that music has been found to improve the quality of sleep in students and adults (Harmat, Takacs, Bodizs, 2008, para. 1). We can learn from this research why music is important and absolutely vital for our well-being. In 2002, a study conducted at Willamette University discovered that music helps the immune system (Hatmat, L., Takacs, J., & Bodizes, R. (2008).). As incredible as better sleep and stronger immune systems are, there are even more benefits. Music has been found to help relieve stress, improve energy levels, fight fatigue, combat eating disorders, improve vision, and improve the effects of ADHD (Ungrangsri, 2011). These health benefits are varied and difficult to obtain in other 

          Third, music education helps children psychologically. We may notice many times when we feel sad or moody, we turn to music, such as classical music, and we will feel so much better. That is how music plays a big role. Music has directly helps and creates happiness. Moreover, music does not help just that. There are a lot more benefits that not a lot of people know. For example, music dramatically improves the mental health of people with depression (Moratoes, Crawford, Procter, 2011, para, 1). Ungrangsri (2011) also supported them by saying that music education helps “relieve anger, relieve anxiety, create emotional calm, improve mood, decrease pain perception, and also Alzheimer’s disease therapy” (p.18). According to this research, we can know that there are a lot of benefits of music, especially for children. Music does not just help children to be positive and happy, but music also helps prevent anxiety and depression. These are three main reasons that we really need to do something to make sure that every student receives music education, whether they are rich or poor, girls or boys. 

          Recently, some people have made the argument that music is not important compared to some subjects like math or science. It is sad that even the leaders of our society question the value of music education. The government has a plan to withdraw a great amount of funding from art and music education in public schools. The statistics are very alarming to a lot of people. “Funding for these national endowments amount to a meager 0.004% of the $4 trillion budget, with both the NEA and NEH receiving $148 million in 2016” (Rubinstein, 2017, para. 2). This change will affect music education in schools, programs, educators and artists around the country. 

          According to these recent news sources and many examples that have been provided in this article, there is an urgent sense that we need to do something. This is not just for individual problems; this is for the society and nation-wide problems that we need to solve. We need to learn about how vital music is to human life and how it helps us cognitively, physically, and psychologically. We should encourage and support music and art education. We should definitely do something more. We can start within our homes. We can encourage people in our family to learn the importance of music and enable them to play or participate in musical activities. We can also send our thoughts to the government to support the need for music in our societies, and absolutely, in our schools. Imagine what will happen with this generation and the next generations to come if we do not do something now; as the news writer Jon Blistein (2017) stated, “Love of music and the arts brings us together, and celebrates the richness of American culture and our spirit of curiosity and creativity” (para. 1) According to Blistein, we all know that music plays a large part in this country and who we are as a people. We must each ponder carefully and choose wisely so that the regulations we endorse today don’t negatively impact our nation tomorrow.

Exercises

Exercise 1: Annotate an Essay

Scan the essay below and annotate it according to the following directions. 

Introduction

1. Draw a star next to the hook.

2. Draw a box around the background information.

3. Underline the thesis. 

4. Circle the word or phrase that shows the thesis is an opinion.

Body Paragraphs

1. Underline the topic sentences that show the main idea or each section or paragraph.

2. Draw an arrow to show the words that show how the topic sentences support the thesis statement. Draw the arrow from the word(s) in the topic sentence to the word(s) in the thesis statement. 

3. Number the supporting detail ideas. (1, 2, 3...) How many supporting details did the author use to explain their main idea?

4. Circle the cohesive device words and phrases

5. Highlight all in-text citations. 

6. Draw an arrow from each in-text citation to their matching full citation on the reference page. 

Conclusion

1. Underline the restated thesis. 

2. Circle the key words that are kept from the thesis statement or that are replaced with synonyms. 

3. Box the background information, summary, or global extension. 

4. Draw a star next to the concluding sentence. 

5. Label the concluding sentence. What type is it?

Reference Page

1. Underline the name of the section "Reference". 

2. Circle the author's last name(s)

3. Draw a star by the year of publication. 

4. Draw a box around the title of the article, website, or book. 

5. Label the source. What type is it? Is it an article from a journal or newspaper, website, or other?

Exercise 2: Analyze an Essay

  1. Does the introduction provide the general information a reader needs in order to understand the topic?
  2. Does the introduction end with an effective thesis? Does it match the style of the essay?
  3. Do each of the body paragraphs begin with an effective topic sentence?
  4. Are the body paragraphs sequenced in a logical order?
  5. Look at each body paragraph. Do the supporting sentences support the topic sentence?
  6. Look at each body paragraph. Are the supporting sentences sequenced in a logical order?
  7. Look at each body paragraph. Is there enough development? Are there more details or examples that would help the reader?
  8. Look at each body paragraph. Does the concluding sentence close the paragraph logically?
  9. Does the conclusion paragraph start by restating the thesis?
  10. Does the conclusion paragraph have a suggestion, prediction, or opinion at the end?

Sources 

Blistein, J. (2017). Grammy organizers ‘alarmed’ by Trump’s proposed arts funding cuts. Retrieved from https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/grammy-organizers-alarmed-by-trumps-proposed-arts-funding-cuts-108473/

Hatmat, L., Takacs, J., & Bodizes, R. (2008). Music improves sleep quality in students. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18426457

Moratoes A., Crawford, M. J., & Procter, S. (2011). Music therapy for depression: It seems to work, but how? Retrieved from http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/199/2/92

Rubinstein, P. (2017). President Trump plans to defund arts Education programs. Retrieved from http://www.youredm.com/2017/01/22/president-trump-plans-to-defund-arts-education-programs/

Ungrangsee, B. (2011). The magic of music. Samut Songkhram, Thailand: Cherry Books. 

Weinberger, N. M. (2003). The Music in Our Minds. Retrieved from http://nmw.bio.uci.edu/publications/Weinberger,%201998e.pdf

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