Revise Cause-Effect Writing


       Many believe that doing regular exercise makes them happier or more active on that particular day. Working out not only means that people go to the gym or lift weights, it can be any active sport that requires active physical movements for at least 20 minutes long. Although, not a lot of people know that working out increases memory and productivity. 

       Most people choose to work out because they enjoy it. Exercising may seem like a boring or uncomfortable thing to do but many people find great fun and enjoyment in it. The people who enjoy exercising always make an extra effort to fit it in their schedule. So, this increases their physical wellness and their social wellness at the same time. 

       Another key reason why working out is a priority in our society because of peoples strong knowledge of the health benefits. Everyone knows that exercising improve one’s health but fewer people know that it can even prevent different kinds of diseases, and even prevents ailments like diabetes, obesity, or high blood pressure (Why Exercise Is Wise, n.d.). Many elderly people nowadays suffer from physical problems, if they exercise wisely they will more than likely age better as your bones and joints will become stronger (Teens 

       Something that has become more continuous and common in society are educational institutions and employers that make it a point to either require or highly advocate for greater health wellness in their organization or student body. Physical Education is mandatory in elementary and high schools, in most degree programs universities require health and wellness courses. According to Heidi Godman (n.d.) sports help students focus more and earn better grades at school than without it. Moreover, military service also requires an active lifestyle. 

       In conclusion, a lot of people agree with the statement that working out helps to improve the brain. People should take advantage of these benefits in the education systems where physical activity is a requirement for students


Exercise 1: Evaluate an essay

Read the student essay. Evaluate the essay using these questions:

  • Does the essay follow a general essay structure?
  • Are the thesis statement, topic sentences, and restated thesis statement effective?
  • Are the ideas of the essay developed so that you understand the main idea of the essay?
  • Are all the sentences in the essay unified within and between paragraphs?
  • Are there any words, phrases, or sentences that you notice are confusing for you as the reader?

Exercise 2: Give Feedback

Read the student essay. Then, give the author feedback by answering the question below. 

  • What suggestions would you give the author who wrote this?

Exercise 3: Revise an Essay

Read the student essay. Evaluate the essay to determine what needs to change to make the essay better. Decide how you are going to make those changes. Then, make the changes to revise the essay. 

You may do this on paper, on a computer, or as your teacher directs. 

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