CoverObjectivesThe Writing ProcessAddressing the PromptPrewritingWritingRevisingOriginalityTimed Writing 1Integrated Writing 1Essay Shape and OrganizationIntroduction ParagraphsBody ParagraphsConclusion ParagraphsReference PageA Shifting StructureExample EssayTimed Writing 2Integrated Writing 2Descriptive EssaysExample Descriptive EssayPrewritingWriting: Word ChoiceSources: QuotingRevisingRevise a Descriptive EssayExplore Other Genres: Creative WritingTimed Writing 3Integrated Writing 3Personal StatementsExample Personal StatementTypes of Personal StatementsOrganization for Comprehensive Personal StatementOrganization for Prompted Personal StatementWriting: DevelopmentRevisingRevise a Personal StatementExplore Other Genres: Formal EmailsTimed Writing 4Integrated Writing 4Cause-Effect EssaysExample Cause-Effect EssayPrewritingWriting: UnitySources: SummarizingRevisingRevise a Cause-Effect EssayExplore Other Genres: ReviewsTimed Writing 5Integrated Writing 5Persuasive EssaysExample Persuasive EssayPrewritingWriting: CohesionSources: ParaphrasingRevisingRevise a Persuasive EssayExplore Other Genres: ReflectionsTimed Writing 6Integrated Writing 6Appendix A: Argumentative EssaysExample Argumentative EssayStructure of an ArgumentPrewritingWriting: Cohesion in ArgumentsRevisingRevise an Argumentative EssayAppendix B: Using SourcesFinding SourcesIn-text CitationsMore about Reference PagesAppendix C: Extra TOEFL ResourcesTOEFL Integrated WritingTOEFL Independent Writing

Revise a Persuasive Essay

Negative Effects of Diets

     Does the term "diet" make you think instantly of an unpleasant regimen of weight loss?  If it did, you might not be alone. The University of Minesota says, the food we consume provides our bodies the "data" and correctly functioning equipment they need. If we don't get the correct data, our processes of metabolism suffer and decline in our health. (n.d). Almost 20% of deaths worldwide are attributable to an unhealthy diet, with high blood pressure and smoking completing the top three risk factors for reaching the grave, according to a new report on the state of the world’s health (Davis, N. 2018, November 08).Therefore, if people are in a diet they are not going to receive the necessary to make their body work.  According to the University of Minnesota (2016), "consider the use of the term ' diet' in food products marketing — it usually describes low-calorie foods such as diet soda" (para.1). Dieting is an obsession with the nation. People around the globe also use diets to lose weight, but they continue to diet when individuals begin to see the outcomes. The effects of this conduct are the body's primary nutrients starting to vanish. People think a diet is the best way to lose weight, but they don't understand all the negative impacts a diet can cause. Even diet can trigger memory loss, issues with sleeping, and depression. Thus, when individuals begin to diet, the metabolism changes in the body of individuals, and the effects are a lager.  In this manner, diets are causing a lot of negative effects on people around the world including headaches loss of nutrients and nausea.

     One of the biggest negative effects. diets are causing in people’s body is headaches. One of the most common symptoms of skipping a meal is headaches. “As with fatigue, headaches can be caused by low blood sugar thanks to the lack of glucose in your bloodstream” Legion, n.d., para. 12. A headache can trigger a lot of issues if individuals stop eating food. A absence of food in the body can influence the functioning of the system and can lead to food headache. “If the brain does not regularly receive enough glucose, a condition known as hypoglycemia may occur. This is a condition of low blood sugar that makes it more likely for individuals to experience a food headache” (Vanquish, 2018, para. 5). If we do not consume enough calories to meet the requirements of our bodies, then our concentrations of blood glucose fall too low. This can occur if we skip food, fast food, diet, or inadequate food practice. Eating a high-sugar meal can trigger' reactive hypoglycaemia,' because the sudden increase in blood glucose from a sugar diet causes over-production of insulin, which in turn causes blood glucose concentrations to drop too low. If patients with diabetes inject too much insulin into their bodies, their blood glucose concentrations may also drop too low (Hypoglycaemia. (2019). Dieting can also trigger migraines, which is another type of headache. Additionally. If people want to avoid headaches the best way is stopping dieting.

     Bad effect that diets is causing is the  loss of nutrients in people’s bodies. “On these low-calorie diets, not only will you be limiting the number of calories your body receives that it needs to function at a normal level – but you’ll also be depriving yourself of essential nutrients” (Legion, n.d., para. 12). People stop eating foods that they need to eat, the body starts to lose the most important nutrient. Also, on a daily basis, you will probably feel fatigued, like you are dragging your body around. If you do not have sufficient energy, you will not be able to do the exercises needed to burn the calories such as running on the treadmill, bicycling, and squats. If people do not do the exercises, they will not be able to strength, train, and build lean muscle mass, which naturally accelerates your metabolism. For these reasons, it is really important to have the main nutrients that the body needs. An significant aspect of excellent health is a healthy weight. How much you eat — and what you eat — in keeping a good weight or losing weight, you play key roles Harvard Health Publishing. (n.d.).  Additionally, the basic nutrients that people will be losing in the diet are calcium, fiber, vitamin A, and iron. Therefore, a nutritional deficiency happens when a nutrient is not absorbed or obtained from the food by the body. Deficiencies can result in a multitude of health issues (Symptoms and Treatment. (n.d.).  If people do not eat all the important nutrient that they need to eat, their bodies will not be as productive. Nutrients are more important than a basic diet.

     Because you are not receiving enough nutrients, especially carbohydrates and sodium, it is likely that you will experience nausea. “When you want to lose weight, it is tempting to drastically cut calories in hopes of faster results. But doing so is risky. No only can it make you feel sick, but it also can make you feel nauseous” (Braverman, 2018, para. 1). When you do not eat a lot of calories, naturally you start feeling tired and nauseous. This nausea is not unlike the feeling you get when you are extremely hungry is because people are losing important nutrients. It is your body's signal that it needs food and calories. According to Braverman (2018), people need nutrients and calories in their body but when they stop consuming enough nutrients and calories because of diets, nausea becomes one of the main effects. Also, “magnesium deficiency can cause loss of appetite, and this can cause nausea” (Bowers, 2017, para. 1). Dieting can be the cause why people is feeling nauseas. If people are feeling nausea is because they are dehydrate and this a long term can cause the death.  If people do not want to feel nauseous or they do not want to die, the best thing to do is to eat well and stop being on a diet.

            While these three negative effects of diets can clearly affect people around the world, it is important to notice that many people do not see diets as negative. Some people think that a good diet can manage blood glucose levels. keep blood pressure healthy, cholesterol within target ranges and prevent or delay complications of diabetes. “If a person eliminates trans fats from their diet, this will reduce their levels of low-density lipoprotein cholesterol. This type of cholesterol causes plaque to collect within the arteries, increasing the risk of heart attack and stroke” (Crichton-Stuart, 2018, para. 17). If people go a diet they are going to be healthier and stronger to do all the tasks that they need. A lot of people see good results from dieting and they are achieving their goals of the perfect body that they need.

            These benefits notwithstanding, people need to recognize that being on a diet is frequently bad for their bodies. “Nausea is a feeling in the mouth, back of the throat, and stomach that many people refer to as feeling sick” (Sissons, C. 2019, March 18). Simply being on a diet does not help people. Nausea can often lead to an absence of appetite, and if they have not eaten enough, a individual may feel nauseated (Sissons, C. 2019, March 18). This is reason why people should not being on a diet.  Diets have more negative effects than positive benefits. There are more consequences of being on a diet such as your feet and hands feel like ice, nutrient deficiency, health problems, slowed metabolism, and headaches. If people think about all the bad effects of dieting they should avoid going on a diet. According to Eating Disorder Victoria (2018), dieting is the number one risk factor in the development of an eating disorder. People around the world are having so many problems because of diets. People want to have a longer life without headaches, loss of nutrients and nausea they should stop going on diets.

     We can see how diets affect people around the world from the beginning. The negative effect of headaches, loss of nutrients and nausea cause serious issues. They are some benefit of doing diets, but not as many as the consequences. People think that being on a diet can help them to lose weight really fast, but they can ignore all the difficulties that this can cause. Diets also can be fatal. If people do not have sufficient nutrients in their body they are going to start having headaches which can lead to death and other serious consequences If people go to the doctor the answer is going to be obvious, the doctor is going to recommend them that they need to start eating healthier and stop doing the diet. The University of UCLA found that “at least one-third to two-thirds of people on diets regain more weight than they lost within four or five years, off being off the diet” (Wolpert, 2017, para. 4). To maintain their bodies running well, everyone requires enough calories. Any diet that you don't consume enough calories and substantial nutrients can be damaging. Extreme low-fat diets can be bad for you as well. Everyone in their diet requires some fat, so no one should eat a diet that is totally free of fat. Approximately 30% of the complete calories should be fat (Gavin, M. L. (Ed.). (2018, May).  Lots of people feel pressured to lose weight and try different types of diets. But if you really need to lose weight, improving your eating habits and exercising will help you more than any fad diet. (Gavin, M. L. (Ed.). (2018, May).  According to Gavin, M. L. (Ed.), eating too little or eating too much just to throw up (bulimia) is eating disorders.  It may be difficult for some individuals to regulate their eating. They may consume tons of food and feel unstoppable (binge eating disorder). Eating disorders are detrimental to the health of a person. Someone with an eating disorder requires to be treated medically. (2018, May).  Despite the fact that a lot of people go on diets, they are going to have a lot of problem in their life because of the headaches, loss of nutrients and nausea caused by diet.

Exercises

Exercise 6.32: Evaluate an essay

Read the student essay. Evaluate the essay using these questions:

  • Does the essay clearly state an opinion?
  • Does the essay follow a general essay structure?
  • Are the thesis statement, topic sentences, and restated thesis statement effective?
  • Are the ideas of the essay developed so that you understand the main idea of the essay?
  • Are all the sentences in the essay unified within and between paragraphs?
  • Are the sentences and paragraphs organized to have a logical flow?
  • Are there any words, phrases, or sentences that you notice are confusing for you as the reader?

Exercise 6.33: Give Feedback

Read the student essay. Then, give the author feedback by answering the question below. 

  • What suggestions would you give the author who wrote this?

Exercise 6.34: Revise an Essay

Read the student essay. Evaluate the essay to determine what needs to change to make the essay better. Decide how you are going to make those changes. Then, make the changes to revise the essay. 

You may do this on paper, on a computer, or as your teacher directs. 

References

9 Negative Health Effects of a Low-Calorie Diet - Nutrition Secrets. (2018, October 01). Retrieved November 28, 2018, from https://legionathletics.com/low-calorie-diet/

Braverman, J. (2018, August 7). Nausea With Too Few Calories. Retrieved November 28, 2018, from https://healthyeating.sfgate.com/nausea-calories-7059.html

Butler, RD, LD, N. (2018, June 26). What are the benefits of eating healthy? Retrieved November 28, 2018, from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322268.php

Davis, N. (2018, November 08). Poor diet a factor in one-fifth of global deaths in 2017 – study. Retrieved August 5, 2019, from https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/nov/08/poor-diet-a-factor-in-one-fifth-of-global-deaths-in-2017-study

Diet Modifications for Nausea and Vomiting. (n.d.). Retrieved November 28, 2018, from https://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/diet_modifications_for_nausea_and_vomiting/

Gavin, M. L. (Ed.). (2018, May). The Deal With Diets (for Teens). Retrieved August 5, 2019, from https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/dieting.html

Harvard Health Publishing. (n.d.). Diet & Weight Loss. Retrieved July 20, 2019, from https://www.health.harvard.edu/topics/diet-and-weight-loss

Hypoglycaemia. (2019). Retrieved July 17, 2019, from https://www.migrainetrust.org/about-migraine/trigger-factors/hypoglycaemia/

Matthews, M. (2018, October 1). 9 Negative Health Effects of a Low-Calorie Diet - Nutrition Secrets. Retrieved November 28, 2018, from https://legionathletics.com/low-calorie-diet/

Negative Effects of Dieting. (2018, August 17). Retrieved November 28, 2018, from http://www.healthgoesup.com/articles/712/1/negative-effects-of-dieting-1.html

Nutritional Deficiencies (Malnutrition): Symptoms and Treatment. (n.d.). Retrieved July 20, 2019, from https://www.healthline.com/health/malnutrition

Sissons, C. (2019, March 18). Loss of appetite and nausea: Why does it happen? Retrieved August 5, 2019, from https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324739.php

Taylor, R. J. (2014). UCLA Tokamak Program Close Out Report. Retrieved November 28, 2018, from http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/Dieting-Does-Not-Work-UCLA-Researchers-7832

The risks of poor nutrition: SA Health. (n.d.). Retrieved November 28, 2018, from https://www.sahealth.sa.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/public+content/sa+health+internet/healthy+living/is+your+health+at+risk/the+risks+of+poor+nutrition

University of Minesota. (n.d.). How Does Food Impact Health? Retrieved July 25, 2019, from https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/how-does-food-impact-health